trapped in a plaintive song

and not just one. it's a nightmare with a strange beauty. one trap after another, a habitrail, a cube, escape only into another trap. i can see out. i have imagined myself out there, i have run for it, but i begin to suspect terrible possibilities. i won't say truths, because, my mind, you know i can't trust it. as arrogant as i seem, it's a protection. i even believe the ruse sometimes. but really i know. i am crumbling, in more ways than one.