the soundtrack: And Dream of Sheep
Under Ice
Heavy with seed, you take me.
here they go again. another lunatic fan. yes and no. but i will be relegated to where i don't belong, of course, of course. trying so hard to say something that will be heard, and to just be, to put words together in a manner that will scream my own name, and take a shape that looks something like me.
i know what you are, you and the others, my imaginary friends. and that's ok. i need imaginary friends, when real ones are beyond my reach. i know you speak to me, i know what it means, when you speak in tongues, and i translate you into my own language, and it becomes mine. it always becomes mine. this is why i cannot speak to the others, though they claim they love the songs as deeply as i do. they love different songs.
it is a magic thing, to give something that can be heard, that i can take for my own. that makes me feel, for two minutes, not alone. though at the same time more alone than i felt before, teasing me with a taste of what it might be like to not feel alone.
It's wonderful. Everywhere, so white...
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Django Reinhardt has a similar effect over here. He can't banish my solitude, but the effect is similar. -- Kate Bush is an excellent choice too. I had never listened to "And Dream of Sheep" before, but I'm familiar with "Under Ice." She describes it so well in that song, so well that I can hear somewhere inside my head, "It's me." Thank you for reminding me of that.
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