Thursday, June 5, 2008

demon jealousy smirks as i stew in resentment

there will always be prettier, smarter, more clever, more interesting, more successful people than me. how do you manage this? you're just somehow happy with the lumps you are? is that denial? i guess. believing what one wants to believe. if you weren't so firmly entrenched in your fictions as to make you unaware, maybe you could tell me the trick. maybe it's something i can practice. i would gladly trade grim reality for happiness and ignorance. maybe hypnosis would help.

i realize that my insecurity is to blame, but to what extent are my insecurities rational? i certainly could do better. do more. be more.

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