it is never too late to be what you might have been

my heart is breaking, all bittersweet memories, regret, and confusion that clouds my mind still. the inertia, i see it, like a wagon sitting still, all i have to do is push. i do not understand such resistance. what could have been still can be, they say, but not quite the same, i think. the body breaks down, the trade off for understanding, an understanding that is depressing yet still somewhat freeing. freeing of the frustration once caused by the naive belief that the world could be a better place. what could have been...what is stopping me? what will turn the key?