.

he liked to scare me he liked to scar me I loved him for it mingled with anger and fruitless wishes that it did not come with the cost this golden twisted boy who would leave me soon enough to those who wouldn't bother to give me the attention of torment

did i have depression
or did it have me?

did it have me in its grasp
all tied up
kept down

born into misfortune
borne into depression
battered by the flailing of lost and cruel people
who never once saw me

Untitled 2

All that I've suffered
let me rest let me have unlikely patches of peace I grab the sun when I find it I run I dance I smile I bask I forget the gloom which ever creeps in which I was lost for many years nightmare creatures live there with all the ghosts that ever were and nightmares past nightmare creatures walk amongst you cloaked in human skin

Amnesia

where is everyone?

their noise sounds desperate and oblivious

or was that me?

maybe, yet

the motor revs

my caterwaul tears

taxing engines

exacting change

how we danced

before i swallowed my tongue

the twisting

there were games as well
but in between hopscotch and mother-may-i
the twisting
it started so young
they looked at me so strange

this girl

all tied up in knots

they kept their distance
and wondered what was wrong with me

rather than wonder what was wrong with the one who put them there

riding down the old street
too fast 
behind him on a mini-bike
he liked to scare me
he liked to scar me

head shots act at a distance
can't you see?


DAEMON

I was a hell spawn. I was a child of god. I could have been anything.


Late one night, I’ll start whispering the culling song in his ear. He’ll swallow his tongue.


He looks so small now.
Bony and frail, in his sick bed, in his sick house,

The delusions of grandeur have festered.

Remembering things that never happened.

The guns are still in the basement, like they always were.

It is where you belong.

Go on, into the void, end it all, do this one thing for me, this one thing ever.

still

was i a loser

or just lost

my head pushed down
so i went right through

grabbing scraps isn't enough

let them scrabble

i'll bide my time

it's coming

they all tell me patience

maybe, maybe

but maybe i'll explode

maybe i'll break out

maybe i'll run

maybe i'll run

maybe i'll steal

maybe i'll lie

if you say "it's all good" one more time...