breaking through

this is my heart. this is my fear. i know these things, but it is dark in here, so i do not know where they are, where they are in relation to other things, other people. the fear does not want me to find out, it is quite desperate, but so is the heart desperate to get out. this stalemate has gone on for 35 years. i keep telling my fear i am going to stop giving it any credence, cease listening to its insinuations, but we both know that it is an empty threat.