now

and if they became remorseful, if they said, "how could we have done this to you?" what of it? they could give me nothing now. i needed then, but what if they had tried their best? they didn't, but if they had, what value would there have been in that? would i have taken it from them, starving as i was, taken their best? what would that have made me? something if i saw now, i would loathe. their best was rotten. they were no better than that.