the pleasure of delusion

oh, to sink into the arms of someone fond of me, and i can pretend it is love, full of hope and promise. the excitement of unknown, boundless possibilities, without that painful baggage, full of spikes, which constantly prick the skin. but then you wake up, and one morning instead of the buzzing of life all around backlit by a luminescent dawn, you see the pain, the struggle, the death, the competition for limited resources, and the harsh, cold light exposing it all.

touch

the frustration of distance
and how we try
what exactly do we think we will touch?
why
always why
what does it mean
all this grasping at strangers
i am grasping at you now
at the air
nothing to hold on to
all the love in the world
could not save me

dissolution

it is over

it
is



polly wants



forever



i think i should be



under tow



the line won't



break



if

i


don't



i think i want


the safety

of the cage


freedom has a price

my cry opened the door


all i wanted

was more food

cloistered

don't believe in love
but i want it
in a stranglehold
beating it down
I can wrap up in
a pale defense against the elements

elements walk by
they never see me
but want to fuck me anyway

i wonder if anyone sees anything
i know it happens
i've read books
i can tell
they see pieces

it's hard to see
in flashes
but so much
i should have gone the other way
just opened the view on one piece
and that would never have been enough

i always come here
breaking behind my eyes
the beauty and horror
it's too much terror and wonder for one person to hold

but letting go...


ceremony

pale shelter